A Little Somethin’ for the Ladies – Whedonverse Edition

There are so very many things for which we should all be thanking Joss Whedon – bringing wit, compassion, suspense and love to a genre previously and subsequently dominated by melodrama and theatrics; creating complex, compelling female heroines, villains and side kicks; every single thing about Firefly (aside from its time-slot).  These things are great.  Really, I’m happy about all of these things.  Yet, none of them make me as happy as the men who are going to make this list.

Let me be clear: I would have put no fewer than 10 men in this post if I had no self-imposed limits.  Much like the LOST list, however, I decided to make writing the post as full of turmoil and hair pulling as watching the shows from which I pull the characters.   So, I’ve limited myself to five.  FIVE.  From THE ENTIRE WHEDONVERSE (except The Avengers.  That’s a whole other post, ladies and believe me, it’s coming.  Oh yes.  It’s coming.)

Now, I don’t want to sound like a crazy person, but each man listed below is the character, not the actor.  Part of what makes Whedon men hot is Whedon himself – the humor, intensity, silliness, and often terrible sorrow he writes into them.  These actors are surely hot, but they are not as hot as their Whedonverse counterparts.  Also, talking about them too much messes with my pretend world in which all of the fictional characters listed below exist.

5. Hoban “Wash” Washburn, Firefly

Kaylee: "Captain seem a little funny to you at breakfast this morning?" Wash: "Come on, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one."

Always a sucker for “the funny one,” I’ve loved Wash from episode 1 of Firefly.  What he lacks in brunetteness, he more than makes up for with wit, loyalty to his wife, his captain and his ship, and the ability to do his job under arduous conditions.  Whedon gives Wash chops and depth, as the character struggles with feelings of insecurity that seem pretty natural given the total hotness of his wife, her closeness with Cap’n Mal (who may or may not be appearing later in this list), and her general bad-assitude.  Yet, as viewers, we get her attraction to him all along.  He’s more than just comic relief.  Wash has soul.

4. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel

As a point of courtesy, I like to get to know my opponents before I engage them in mortal combat. Do, uh, do you have any hobbies?

For a character who started out as a stuffy British guy on the same show, with the same job as another stuffy British guy, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce truly defies expectations by becoming one of the most endearing, brave, vital and totally hot characters in the wonderful world of Whedon. In his stint on Buffy, his comedic timing is pitch perfect, to be sure.  It is on Angel, however, that Wesley really came into his own as a (former) Watcher, warrior and friend.  *Wes and Fred forever*

3. Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel

Can't any one of your damned little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all?"

Truly, one of the best villains-turned-hero I have ever encountered, Spike absolutely steals every scene he is on on both Buffy and Angel.  The best part about this character is not only the ways in which he changes in response to the events in his life, but also the ways in which he remains consistent.  He was a romantic before, during and after his time as a soulless vampire and that makes him the hottest bad-boy around.

2. Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly

Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.

Dude.  He’s the captain.  ‘nough said.

1. Alexander “Xander” Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Let’s just get this out of the way: yes, I am a little ashamed I chose this picture.  For one, I’m pretty sure it’s not from the show.  Also, it’s total beef-cake objectifying non-sense.  Sorry.  But, also, *cartoon-type-google-eyes-happen-now*

No quote here. 1) there are too many to choose from 2) this picture just made me lose my brain.

Xander Harris manages to at one time embody and defy every “good-guy,” “funny guy” and “geeky guy” stereotype Whedon can think up.  And that’s a lot, let me tell you.  Whatever it is he’s doing, you believe him.  He can be the damsel in distress, the hero, the comic relief, the best friend in the entire universe, the scared boyfriend, and the eternal optimist and it always plays authentic.

Plus, as we’ve discussed in the past: I’m a sucker for brunettes.

It just doesn’t get better than Xander.

Surely there is someone in the Whedonverse whose omission from my top five infuriates you.  You can always defend your beau in the comments below.