There are plenty of reviews of The Avengers out there, and we certainly have done our part to give our input on the comics and origin films for each character in our Avengers Boot Camp series. Therefore, we figured – hey, why not wrap this mania up with a little somethin’ for the ladies. (MAN-ia, you mean, Proffitt?-Bex)
You would have to pay me a lot more than I make writing for this site (so, anywhere from 10 dollars to 1 Billion dollars) to rank the men in this film. It would just be too difficult. I have decided, instead, to give them each their own honor – their own Hotty-boomba-lotty title, if you will.
Professor Hot – Bruce Banner
I might just as well call this, “Proffitt’s type until she saw Thor” type. The brown hair and eyes, the glasses and intellect, the melancholy and desire to be rid of a heavy (seriously heavy) burden – it all adds up to just the kind of man that drives geek girls like you and I (or…your girlfriend and I, perhaps…but you’re definitely hot, too) just a little crazy. Add in “That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always angry,” and welcome to full blown stalker mode. While I have moved on from the whole “secrets are sexy” thing in my real life, I gotta admit it’s still appealing in the movies. (Bex interjecting with- and my stars! The salt and peppery wavy hair, swoon swoon swoon).
Bad Boy Hot – Tony Stark/Iron Man
“How is this suddenly about me,” he asks.
“Isn’t it always,” is the reply.
He’s self-centered, but brave. He’s arrogant, but wounded. He’s also got the most bad-ass suit of any Avenger, oh and, yeah – he’s Robert Downey Jr. so take THAT, ovaries. While I have also bid a fond farewell to real-world relationships with the deeply egotistical and damaged, I still respond (in significant ways) to them on the silver screen. Bravo, Tony Stark. Bravo. (Bex here with props to his ohs so perfectly sculpted facial hair).
Enigmatic Hot – Hawkeye
Is it just me, or is there something terribly appealing about Jeremy Renner, no matter the role? (He’s got that Norman Reedus “dirty” kind of hot thing-Bex). There’s just something about that guy. Not as chiseled as Chris Evans or as brunette as Mark Ruffalo, he still pushes all my buttons. For that part of us that loves a man that says little, but conveys a lot with his eyes, Hawkeye may very well be the most appealing Avenger in the bunch. Plus, he’s just a good old fashioned, regular human. A good, old fashioned, regular, master-assassin human. (And the “are they more than just friends” vibe between he and Black Widow was so well done. I love the last after the credits scene when they are sitting at the table and he’s got his leg stretched out and resting on Natasha’s chair. It just read “I’m a real guy who could assassin by day and snuggle up on the sofa at night and eat some schwarma with you.-Bex). 
Good Guy Hot/All American Hot – Captain America/Steve Rogers
Dear lord, Chris Evans is killing me. The jaw, the shoulders, the sweet plaid shirts. Add in, the “we have to do the right thing” attitude and all of a sudden I realize that the 30-something me is way more turned on by good guys than the 20-something me could have imagined. God bless the USA.
Wait - what?! How are you so adorable?? Agh!
Total Package Hot – Thor
Never did blond look so good on a man.
OK, you know what? I don’t care what you say. He’s tall, hot, wicked strong and generally in a good mood. I like that about Thor. He also happens to be a demi-god. I, for one, would love to vacation in Asgard. I know, I know – his brother is a bit…unpredictable. Since when has anyone in the history of the world had an amazing relationship with the in-laws?
OK, OK, something for the fellas, too.
We Can All Support This One Hot – Black Widow
Women love that she’s sexy not in spite of, but because of her curves and men love that she’s…well, wicked crazy hot in every way. She has a troubled past, mad talent for getting what she wants, and no desire to put up with crap. God bless you too, Black Widow.
"When I get out of this chair, I am seriously going to f**k you up"
Listen, I understand that there are other hotties in the movie, but I am forcing myself to stick strictly to the AVENGERS proper on this one.
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